(temporarily, that is)

Hello.

I am well.

Now back to work for me.

Goodbye wheelchair.
Hello guitar.

Will I finish?

Tatay can walk!

They went to the rehab doctor yesterday for a check-up and a PT session. The doctor said, in his entire career, he had never seen someone recover from a stroke as rapidly as Tatay. In his joy over Tatay's swift recovery---he wrote Tatay down for extra sessions. Occupational therapy this time, so they can start working on finer hand movements and the like.

They told us to let Tatay walk around the house as soon as he was up to it.

Tatay's been "up to it" since Sunday. He's been raring to get out of the wheelchair.

So this morning, we gave him the quad-cane and let him walk from his bed to the breakfast table. It took a little longer, of course, and his steps were still a little tentative, but he made it. We didn't need to help him either.

I remember Tatay and I were talking just this Sunday. He told me he was resigned to never playing the guitar again. He said it was foolish to hope.

He changed his mind today. If he can talk in two weeks, raise his arm in four, and walk in a month, we're all looking forward to what he'll be able to do in a couple of months. If he can stand and if he can walk, it'll only be a matter of time before he can dance again. If he can raise his arm and wiggle his fingers, it'll only be a matter of time before he can play his guitar again.

"I can't argue anymore," he told us today, "To argue is to question God's ability to do the impossible."

One month. We are humbled by how God continues to work in our lives.

Yup. Better start looking for a good restaurant...

It's been almost a month since Tatay had his stroke. He has an appointment with his rehab doctor this coming Wednesday so she can check his progress.

I have a feeling she's in for a surprise.

Since we last saw Dr. Alviar, my father's speech has returned to normal. He no longer struggles to find the right word for something, and he can outtalk Nanay and me. (As for Anne...well, nobody can outtalk her I think. ) Tatay's smile isn't lopsided anymore. We constantly try to find ways of making him laugh just so we can see him smile.

The past few days, we've seen him stand for longer and longer periods of time. He can stand unassisted for forty minutes now. Two days ago, he could already raise his right arm slightly. And he wiggled his toes on his right foot the other day.

But even better than all of that--today, he discovered that he can move his right leg again!

I was keeping Tatay company in the green room while Anne and Nanay were preparing lunch. I was typing something on my laptop, and Tatay was praying quietly. When I looked over my shoulder, Tatay was lifting his right leg and bending his knee. I called Nanay and Anne so they could see, and we all had an impromptu celebration. Hugs all around.

We are thankful because God keeps His promises to His children. All things do work together for the good of those who love Him (etcetera). We are thankful because He answers prayers. We are thankful because He continues to give us one miracle after another.

Tatay promised Anne we'd all eat out as soon as he can walk. I think it's time to start scouting around for a good restaurant.

Found a book of Madlibs at a bookstore a few months ago, and I've been meaning to give it to Dui. So when they came over for one of the dinner extravaganzas my extended family puts together every now and then, I gave her the book.

I think I got around three hundred points in the Good Auntie category. She went around the whole night, asking people to give her nouns, names, adjectives and the like. And then had giggle fits over the resulting silly stories.

I noticed that some of the words that kept cropping up were: "booger", "smelly", and "armpit". Which I assume are Dui's favorite words as of the moment.

Being the dutiful aunt, I showed her how to spell "booger" correctly. I have always looked forward to the day when I'd be sitting in a kitchen, showing my eight-year-old niece the correct spelling of the word "booger", but I never imagined it would be so soon. They grow up so fast... *wistful sigh*

I eagerly await the day Dui asks me how to spell  "vomit", "putrid" and "flatulence".

Sorry for the silence. We've been pretty busy the past few days.

Anyhoo. Tatay's first week at home:

• We've worked out a schedule among us so that someone stays awake with Tatay most of the day. The first few days, it was me (insomniac) and my cousins Mikel (anime-aficionado) and Mariel (nurse-in-training). The first two nights, all three of us were up during the wee hours of the morning, so Nanay could catch up on much-needed sleep. We managed to ward off sleep with an ongoing anime marathon, frequent midnight and post-midnight snacking, and readings from various Terry Pratchett novels. Although we were able to keep awake, the three of us usually wound up sprawled in random semi-conscious poses on the living room floor by around nine or ten am. So we started keeping Tatay company in shifts instead. At night it's usually the cousins, with Nanay waking up once in a while to check, during the day, it's Nanay, Anne and Tatay's brothers.
• Saturday morning, I woke up to the sound of the family car running in the street in front of our house. I went out and saw that someone was warming up the engine. Probably Miks, I thought. Someone opened the back door for me. It was Mar. I slid into the back seat and saw that Miks was in the front passenger seat. Tatay was "driving".Miks had let him start up the car. Tatay gave me his half-smile through the rear-view mirror. We sat in the car for a while, enjoying the airconditioning and radio music. When it was time to park the car and wheel Tatay back into the house, he told us he had lots of fun. (Aside: Now he has one more reason to exercise the muscles in his right side more. Miks reminded him that he needs his right foot for the gas and his right hand for the gear shift.)
• Ever since Ernie Update number 5, Tatay's been getting a steady stream of visitors. A couple of pastors from church dropped by, plus our Bible study group, the church's "Hakot Boys", and some of Tatay's friends. They come bearing flowers, get well cards, and fruit baskets. (Aside:Thanks to you, our crisper continually overflows with apples, oranges and bananas. Yummy ) The visits cheer Tatay up.
  
• Mealtimes have become regular family reunions lately. Breakfasts are small affairs compared to the production numbers we've come to know as Lunch and Dinner. Over the weekend, we had frequent gatherings of Santoses, Bustrilloses, Zamoras, Yaps and Carpios. And plenty of food. Tatay's off the soft diet. He usually eats whatever we eat now, occasionally turning down the ice cream and the beef. (Food conscious na ulit si Doc.)
• Tatay's vision has finally returned to normal. Ever since the stroke, he had a bad case of double-vision. A little rambling: When he was at PGH, Anna sent him a cardboard tube of M&Ms with a felt version of Red stuck on top. We stood it on top of the TV so Tatay could see it. When he was released, we brought it home, still unopened, and put it on top of the table in his room. A couple of days ago, he asked Nanay: where's the other one? How come there's only one? He watched part of Ghostbusters today.
  
• Thanks to Nurse Mariel, we've been learning how to help Tatay with his PT exercises. His PT sessions here usually involve plenty of lively music and back-up dancers (Mar, Miks, Anne, Nanay and me.) PT is usually exhausting for Tatay, but we try to keep things light. His right side is getting stronger. He can stand better, and he can move his right leg and right arm slightly now. When we were doing the facial exercises with him, Mar and I noticed that both sides of his face smile now. The half-smile is finally gone.
  
• Tatay started weekly PT sessions at LBDH this Tuesday. Tito Gards, drove him and Nanay there. Tatay came home encouraged and determined to continue his exercises. He can't wait to drive his car.
  

God is continually working in our lives. We see evidence of that every day. We are bearing up in spite of the circumstances. We get tired and discouraged, but someone always pops up to cheer us all up. We have Tito Oca, Tita Alfin, Lolo, Lola, Tito Boy, Tito Gards and all of our other relatives to help us make sure we don't miss a thing. We have Mariel, our resident nurse, to help us with the technical stuff. We have Miks and Gani to help us run our errands. We have Ate Glo, Roseanne to bring us meals so Anne doesn't have to cook too much. We have the perpetually cheerful Anne, who helps keep us sane by keeping the house in order. We have people constantly praying for us.

God has funny ways of providing for everything we need. When we were wondering where we could borrow a hospital bed and a wheelchair, Tito Oca and Lolo and Lola had already arranged for them to be brought to the house. Even before we could start looking for a quad-cane, some of our family friends already got one for Tatay. Someone always happens to bring us something to eat or snack on. Just when it's time to go to the supermarket for fruit, another basket comes in. (The only food problem we have is dealing with all the leftovers so they don't go to waste. As a result, we're all rapidly gaining weight.)

God uses even the smallest things to encourage us. A surprise visit from friends. A warm (non-lopsided) smile from Tatay.

We don't know how long this will take, but it looks like God's making sure we'll make it through the long haul.

He's back in LB!

They got back from PGH at around 5:30 today. We wheeled Tatay into the house and surprised him with our impromptu decor. Miks, Anne, Bom and I spent part of the afternoon making a welcome sign for Tatay, as well as a couple dozen pinwheels out of several colors of paper. Think "Windstruck". We stuck the sign on a wall and the pinwheels on various pieces of furniture. Then we turned on two of the electric fans. Tatay's eyes lit up when he saw the pinwheels all over the living room, spinning gaily as he was wheeled in.

Lolo, Lola, Bom and my uncles kept Tatay company in the living room while the cousins and the titas unpacked. Ate Glo and Anne put together a pick-me-up supper to add to the dishes Lolo and Lola brought over. It looked like a party in the making.

I was able to listen to snatches of conversation in the living room while I was running around the house.

"My body is a lot slower than my mind now. That's why it's hard for me," Tatay was saying. "But I'm okay up here," he added, pointing to his forehead.

Later, Bom asked him what it was like to try to remember things. "Like my mind is full of drawers." replied my dad.

More later. For now I think it's enough to say that we're all happy he's home, and that Tatay's a lot better now.

----

"ADVISORY": For people who want to visit Tatay, could you schedule your visit for sometime next week? For now, email and phone calls will have to do---both Nanay and Tatay need plenty of rest. Thanks.

Sorry for the three-day silence. Just got back from PGH today, and with all the arrangements that had to be made, I had my hands full most of the afternoon. Thank God for supportive boyfriends who don't mind going on errands with you.

Anyhoo.

Sunday, April 1
Morale was a bit low in Room 546 when we got there. The doctors had prescribed medicine for Tatay, not knowing that he was allergic to it. Everybody got together and prayed about it, and by early evening, Tatay was back to normal.

We gave Tatay mashed potatoes with vienna sausage, and followed it up with peeled grapes for dessert. He enjoyed every bite. And asked for a second helping of dessert.

Took the early morning shift again so Nanay and Tita could take a snooze. Kept Mariel company while she was doing her paper. We brought sleeping bags and bedrolls this time so everybody could stretch out in various corners of the room instead of having to share the sole narrow bench.

Found out the next day that as Tita was pulling the covers over Tatay, the sheet brushed his right foot. And he wiggled his toes. HE WIGGLED HIS TOES!

Monday, April 2
The nurses and aides bundled Tatay up into a wheelchair and brought him up to the PT room on the 7th floor. Nanay, Tita Alfin and I tagged along to serve as his unofficial cheering squad. Wilbert, the physical therapist, showed Tatay how to shift his weight to his right side and bend his knees. While tatay was bending his knees, Wilbert noted that the muscles behind his right knee were actually contracting.

We were talking to Tatay and he asked us how long we had been in PGH. I said ten days. He did a double take. "I haven't left this (the bed) for that long?" We said---well, that wasn't exactly true. He had gone around a bit for his PT sessions. But most of the time, yeah, he hadn't left the bed in ten days. He was appalled at the thought of ten days of nothing but bedrest. Ladies and gentlemen, my father, the workaholic.

After a while, Tatay asked us "How long will we be like this?" I knew he was probably thinking about how things would be once we got home. He was worried for the whole family. Nanay assured him that all circumstances are temporary. She told him that the doctors said that he was making unusually rapid progress for someone who had just come out of the ICU, and that they were confident that he'd be able to walk and function normally soon. And then she reminded Tatay of one of their old memory verses: "Do not be anxious in anything but in everything, by prayer and petition, present your request to God..." Tatay recited the whole verse without one mistake.

Later that evening, I was rubbing lotion on Tatay's feet. While I was massaging his right foot...his toes wiggled again.

His muscles are beginning to remember.

Been going through the email people have been sending to my other email account. I cut and pasted them onto a word file so I can print them out to read to Tatay as soon as I go back to PGH. Maybe tomorrow or Sunday.

Already told Tatay he has "fanmail". He was very happy to find out that people have been sending him greetings and messages of encouragement.

Anyway, I'd just like to thank everybody who's emailed and texted so far, because I might not be able to reply to all your emails. Your words will definitely help lift Tatay's spirits.

Keep writing, keep praying. We'll be bringing him home to LB soon so he can recuperate.

PS: I'm thinking of assembling a powerpoint presentation of pictures for Tatay to view sometime. The physical therapist says it'll help him recover faster if we show him pictures of people he knows (preferably shots of special occasions that he also took part in) and pictures of familiar places and things.

Note: Tatay doesn't have amnesia or anything by the way. He remembers people, and most of the time, he can remember their names. But sometimes he has a little trouble connecting faces to names, or objects to their corresponding words.

Gani and I are going around LB tomorrow to shoot some of my dad's usual haunts. Might take pictures of his RC planes and his guitar too. So. If anyone has any recent group pictures and party shots, could you forward them to me? Thank you and God bless.

More good news.

Tatay just passed his swallow test today. Yesterday Dr. Jen Alviar asked us to prepare jello and instant oatmeal. This morning, she dropped by to test Tatay's swallowing reflex. Tatay was able to swallow a piece of jello, a half a teaspoon of  oatmeal and a teaspoonful of water. Which means he'll be ready to eat soft food pretty soon. Which also means they'll be taking out the nose tube in a couple of days. Goodbye meal milkshakes.

His post-nose tube diet won't be very exciting though...just oatmeal, mashed fruit, lugaw or arroz caldo. Definitely no Snickers just yet. But soft food will probably be a welcome change from the white glop they pour down his nose. (Aside: we try not to eat in front of Tatay because we know it'll just make him feel bad since it's been a whole week since he last chewed anything. We eat in far corners of the room---out of his line of sight, or out in the hallway. We eat in secret, as if eating vienna sausages or wheat bread were illegal.)

Gani dropped by this morning for a visit, bearing gifts: vacuum packed chesnuts (soft enough to chew easily). Tatay won't be able to eat them yet, but his face lit up when he saw the packs of nuts. (He eats nuts like a squirrel.) Something to look forward to.

Tatay's been talking a lot more lately. The past few days he's had a pretty bad headache, so he wasn't talking much. Since they gave him medication to relieve the pain, he's been a lot more glib. Dr. Alviar and Maureen (the physical therapist) say that he's progressing very rapidly for someone just out of the ICU. One of our nurses said that, for someone who had a stroke, Tatay had an unusually short stay in the ICU...few people leave after only four days.

Lolo, Lola, Uncle Bill, Tito Jojie, Tita Charisse and Tita Loi visited this afternoon---the room was already crowded enough so we decided to leave so they could spend time with Tatay. Plus we still had errands to run in LB. We left around 2 pm, so we missed more good news. (Lola updated me an hour ago.) Anyway, my dad had a PT session scheduled around 1 pm. Lola said he passed all of the initial tests, and the therapist says he's well enough to go home by tomorrow! Knowing Nanay though, we'll probably stay in PGH for another week, just so Tatay gets more rest. Good call.  At the rate things are going, we'll all be home after Holy Week.

Nanay's feeling a little better---I took the early morning shift so she and Tita Alfin could get some rest. (I was eating everything I could get my hands on: vienna sausages, leche flan, fruit, granola, and guzzling Mountain Dew so I wouldn't fall asleep. Managed to stay up until around 4 or 5, after which I conked out.) Nanay's throat is getting better, as she's been able to rest her voice a bit.

We're all okay. Tired, but okay. And very happy.

We want to bring Tatay home.

Went to PGH today with my grandparents and my aunt (Tatay's sister). We were able to spend some time visiting Tatay in ICU. They limit visitors to ICU patients, so we had to go in one at a time, for a maximum of 15 minutes per visit. We're making it a point not to stay longer than around 10 minutes, and we make sure each visit is 30 minutes apart so Tatay can rest. (Masyadong natutuwa si Doc pag madaming bisita na sabay sabay o sunod sunod. Hwehehe. Imagine that, we have to safeguard Tatay from excessive amounts of joy because his BP goes up every time he gets excited.)

Tatay is getting better.

When I saw him last Sunday, his eyes were wide open and slightly protruding. It looked like he was glaring at everybody even though he wasn't. I found out later that this was because the bloodclot was causing pressure on his brain. Nanay sent me a text on Monday, saying that the pressure was greatly reduced, and his eyes went back to normal. When I saw him this afternoon, gwapong-gwapo na ulit si Doc. May eyebags nga lang.

Tatay can speak in clear phrases and full sentences now! When it was my turn to visit him, I asked him how he was, and he smiled wryly and went "Haaaay. Grabe." When Lolo went to visit Tatay, the two of them prayed together. Lolo said Tatay was speaking full sentences and agreeing with him in prayer. Even better, later that evening, Nanay went to ICU to check up on Tatay, when our pastor called. Tatay was able to talk to Pastor Hermie over the phone. When my mom went up to our hospital room-slash-homebase, she told us the good news. Everybody was all smiles. Plenty of hugging all around.

He started his physical therapy sessions yesterday. He's taking to it pretty well, says Nanay. We're still praying that he'll be able to move his hands and limbs fully. Although he was able to close his right hand and move his right leg last Saturday, at the moment, he's mostly moving his left side. But we have high hopes for Tatay, and great faith in the God who does miracles.

Tatay relishes being hugged and held and touched. He holds my hand tightly whenever I visit and loves having his face and arm touched. Lolo gave Tatay a hug when he visited, and Tatay hugged him back with his stronger arm. He fell asleep after a while, curled up on his side, still holding Lolo's hand tightly. We had to call the nurse to help Tatay stretch out so he wouldn't accidentally roll over on his IV tube and the wires for the heart monitor.

Nanay and Tita are fine. The room has a big bathroom, a TV (with cable! Cartoon Network...wheee!) and a well-stocked refrigerator thanks to everybody who's been bringing food and munchies. I think they'll manage. The only thing missing from the room is the patient. We're still waiting for the doctor to give the go-signal for Tatay to leave the ICU. Any time now.

President Roman, several of Tatay's classmates from highschool and elementary, Tita Malou, Lola Dan and my friend Jyas dropped by today. My cousin Mariel has been popping in to keep Nanay and Tita company in between her papers and other assignments.

Enough for now. More incessant babbling soon. Please continue to pray for Tatay's swift and complete recovery.

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